Have you ever asked someone a question, and after they answered it, you were still just as confused as when you started? This round about method of communication is called Double Speak. Read on to learn more about it and how to spot it! If it is done with a malicious intent, it is considered Double Speak. If a person speaks this way this because they are lonely, socially awkward, absentminded or on medication for example, it is not considered to be coming from a malicious space and thus is not categorized as Double Speak. Why do some people talk like this? When a person speaks this way with a malicious intent in mind, it is because they are able to avoid a question entirely or simply answer a part of it, veiled in language that distracts and goes off topic at every opportunity. This can be done with great success to the point that the person who has asked the question has forgotten all about it, and become entirely caught up in the new topic of conversation! How do I know someone is speaking this way? The easiest way to spot a Double Speaker is to listen to them talk to you after having asked them a question. Do they get to the point? Has your question been answered in a timely manner, or are they giving you multiple examples and stories that only seem vaguely related to what you asked? For example: you ask the basic meaning behind a symbol they are wearing expecting a quick answer. What you get instead, is a 30 minute rambling detailing a personal story of how the symbol relates to them, the universe, and the social and political meanings of it, before they change the topic and ask you something totally unrelated. At no point has the person actually answered your question! This is a sure sign of a Double Speaker! Why is it important to be able to spot this type of speaker? This type of person is a master at manipulation. They are able to make people believe that they possess more knowledge than they do. They are able to put themselves in a position of power by doing this. When you are able to spot this speech pattern, it is like a light bulb going off. In the workplace, this Double Speaker shows a good game face, but behind the scenes they may be late with their work or trying to pass off mistakes onto others. Whether you are in a higher executive position or are a co-worker, being able to spot them allows you to clearly see the person for whom they are. You can quickly see their tricks and avoid them, or in the case of hiring management positions, decide if this person is suited for their current position or a new one. In your personal life, with your newfound ability to spot this Double Speaker, you can quickly categorize people and decide where they fit for you, whether it is in your dating life or with friends and family. Double Speakers within friends and family are apt to use Emotional Blackmail to further enhance their abilities. Using language as their weapon of choice, they are able to verbalize a reality in which they are being oppressed and hurt, and at the same time transform details and events as they actually occurred with their Double Speak, convincing people that they are in fact the innocent party and the victim. No one wants to be a victim of a Double Speaker and people who employ Double Speak have lots of practice being undetected, but if you learn to spot the signs of a Double Speaker, you can save yourself much heartache and pain and increase your clarity of thought.
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Is your hyper pet exhausting you? Read on to learn how Pet Reiki can benefit your pet and you! There is a hilarious scene from Dr Doolittle with Eddie Murphy, in which a hyper dog is desperate to have Eddie’s character throw a ball. The dog is seen jumping up and down begging for the ball to be thrown and when it finally is thrown, the dog erupts with joy screaming “I love you!” over and over again as it races back with the ball in its mouth, eager to have the ball thrown again, and again and again….you get the idea. In a movie it’s funny, but in real life that is exhausting, especially when an animal is like that most of the time. If this example reminds you of your beloved pet and you would like to help your pet, consider Pet Reiki to encourage calmness. Why are some animals so hyper in the first place? Some are by nature high strung with lots of energy, others are feeling stress and anxiety brought on by changes in circumstances such as a move or being left alone all day, while others may need extra attention and they are not getting it. So what is Pet Reiki you may ask, and how is it going to help my hyper pet? First let me explain what Reiki is. Reiki is Japanese energy healing that uses the energy that is around us to facilitate healing. The basis of the principal behind Reiki is to take the energy that we physically create in our body and the energy that is all around and using special techniques, the Practitioner or Reiki Master channels that energy to the client. If all of this sounds ridiculous to you, I have a small test for you. Hold your hands, palms facing each other about 1-2 inches apart. Now slowly bring your hands together but do not let them touch each other. Now slowly pull your hands back to their starting position. Repeat this process several times until you begin to feel a heaviness or resistance between your hands. Do you feel it? That is the energy that your own body produces. That is some of the energy that is channeled. Animals are able to tune into subtle energy shifts, and are therefore very receptive to Reiki energy. Do your pets know when there is going to be a storm before you do? That is because they can feel the energy shift. Many times within a few minutes of the healing session with a pet, the changes can be seen right away. For example: I had one client who had a very unhappy, hyperactive rabbit. Within a few minutes of beginning treatment from a distance as the rabbit could not be still, he came to me, laid down in front of me and completely relaxed. His owner was shocked and told me that he never did that; in fact he would only ever do anything like that when he was in his cage at the end of the day. Why did the rabbit do that? The simple answer is that he knew that he needed it. For some time after, this particular rabbit became calmer and more co-operative according to his owner. I do not want to give the impression that Reiki is a quick fix though. With people or animals there also needs to be changes made in lifestyle, environment and behaviour that embrace the change that Reiki facilities. By this I mean, just as people need a healthy diet, exercise and a comfortable, safe, loving and supportive place to rest at the end of the day, so do our pets. Without such an environment, any treatment whether it is for humans or pets, will have only short term effects. So if you would like a calmer pet without resorting to chemical treatments or restrictive methods, consider trying Pet Reiki. Can you spot a true friend? Do your friends complicate your life more than benefit it? Read on to learn more. Life is full of lessons, and one painful one that most of us have encountered at some point in our lives, is that of a need to define the bounds of friendship. It can be painful because in defining the parameters of friendship, many of us have come to the realization that we have been “friends” with people who do not have the same beliefs regarding it as we do. That means we have been left feeling hurt and betrayed.
Friendship is a relationship built on trust, loyalty and understanding of each other’s needs. It should not based on greed, guilt or deceit, and yet many of us have had friendships with people only to discover that the person never really had our best interest at heart. To them friendships are formed based on what they can get from another person, as they live their life using people for their own means. Some examples of this are: friends who need a drinking buddy so they pressure you to be it, knowing your weakness is alcohol. You may find yourself only being called or asked to go out when that friend wants to drink. Another type of friendship is a friend who has a life partner and possibly a child, and they’re looking for either free babysitting and/or they like that you are single and available to be their “go to” friend when things need done. You may find yourself constantly being asked to “help” with things like home décor or renovation, shopping, cooking or various other chores that they ask you to help with because they don’t seem to have the time for, or you are "good": at. At first this type of friendship may seem okay to you, after all helping out friends is important. The problem occurs if that help is hardly ever or never reciprocated back to you. To test this theory, ask yourself, are they suddenly and consistently unavailable to help when you need it? How about when you meet someone? Do they act jealous or try to sabotage your love life? These types of “friends” don’t want you to have a life outside of theirs because then you won’t be available to them when they need you. So what defines a true friend then? A true friend is someone who is there for you when you need them, and reciprocates that back to you. An example of this is being able to call you at 2am because something major has happened to them and they need to talk to you. If this happens every once in a while and you know that you can call them at 2am if you needed to as well, this type of situation is okay. Now, if the 2am phone call happens every weekend because they are drunk and need a lift home, then that is a problem. True friends will call you to ask about you and your life. They have an interest in who you are, those you love, and what you are doing. They also don’t try to push you to do things you don’t want to such as drinking, drugs or to be in situations that you don’t want to be in. They also don’t have an expectation that they will get something from you all the time. They are happy to be around you without strings attached. So what kind of friends do you have? Are they complimenting your lifestyle or creating negativity in your world? Hypnotherapy isn't just for breaking habits you want to change, it can be used to help improve your social skills, keep reading to learn how. 1. Volume Begin by examining your vocal volume to determine how you are perceived by others in social situations. For example: Do you find yourself stuttering and stumbling upon your words? Do you struggling to communicate clearly and effectively? Perhaps you are the opposite of this. Are you loud and brash, you letting everyone in the room know that you are there? The ideal volume for speaking falls in between these two scenarios. Loud enough to be heard, but not shouting at a person. Can you imagine a Hypnotherapist shouting at clients? That would definitely be frowned upon! It’s not a relaxing way to communicate and it can scare people too. Now, If I whispered and stuttered at my clients they would not understand what I was saying would they? If this is your problem, consider working with someone on self-confidence and voice projection. Joining a choir for example, is a great and fun way to learn voice projection and gain confidence in volume control and public appearances. 2. Tone Tonality is important in communication. As a Hypnotherapist it is very important that my tone convey a professional, relaxed manner. I try to speak in even tones, with emphasis when required. Many women especially, have a habit of turning their comments into questions. They do this by placing the emphasis at the end of the sentence where they raise their tone. To illustrate this tonality, I have created a simple question posed to a hypothetical woman named Mary. Question: “what did you do today Mary?” Answer: “Well, we went canoeing on the lake?” (raises tone of voice at the end of her sentence to create a question) This should have be a statement, but it has been turned into a question. Why is this wrong? By turning statements and facts into questions, the validity and merit of what you are saying becomes weakened. If your speech tonality reflects that you are looking for validation in what you are saying, it shows that you have a lack of confidence in your own words. 3. Breathing Many people who are nervous in social situations unconsciously increase their breathing rate often to the point of sounding breathless (which they tend to be) It is important to remember to take several deep breathes if you find yourself becoming nervous or anxious. Even confident speakers can become breathless due to over exertion and excitement in relaying their point. Take the time to pause during conversations. It allows you to hear what the other person is saying, and if needed, gives you time to get your breathing to a comfortable level again. Practicing speaking in front of a mirror. This is a good way to work on controlling your breathing as you can physically see how you are acting. Do you tense your shoulders? Do you hold your breath at any point? Watch yourself in the mirror and see what happens. Another option is to work with a close friend who will not judge you. You can then have discussions on a variety of social topics, while working on breathing and listening skills. If you take the time to work on these 3 areas, you are well on your way to mastering the art of socializing comfortably and with confidence. What do you do when your partner wants a life change, but you are not ready or willing for it to happen. How do you cope with the change? Continue reading for helpful suggestions. You have decided to take a new path in life. Your soul has been calling out for change and you find yourself needing to make that change now. You are excited about the possibilities that lie ahead for you, but your excitement and anticipation of the future does not make your life partner happy. What are you to do? How do you handle all the negativity that may start coming your way? Anger and negativity are often based in fear. For a life partner who is watching their other half go through big changes it can be a scary thing for them. For some people, the growth they are witnessing can trigger their own fears and insecurities. They may start to think things like “What if my partner changes so much they don’t want to be with me anymore?” or “Am I supposed to do this too? Are they telling me that there is something wrong with me?” Rest assured that in most cases these types of thoughts could not be further from the truth. Just because you are a couple, doesn’t mean that you have to do everything that they are doing. Your partner loves you as you are, and is simply looking for you to be there with them, as the support that you have always been. You may stumble across an area of study that interests you too, but it’s okay if you don’t. What is important to remember for both parties is to have a plan. Studying a topic that interests you can be fascinating and enthralling, but where are you going with it? What are you goals? What would you like to do with the information you acquire? Having a plan and keeping the lines of communication open and clear will help alleviate any fears your partner has, especially if you decide that your new life direction requires a career change. Risk doesn’t have to equal financial ruin if you plan and prepare for that change. |