Fairly recently I had a somewhat shocking and dismaying phone call from a former client.  I will call him George for the sake of anonymity.

 Now George was a challenging client to start with. When he told me his situation I suggested that perhaps someone else would have the answers he desired, but he insisted on staying and having a session with me, so I did the best I could for him. I was generous with my time, giving him quite a bit of extra time after our session and further information that I thought would benefit him. At the time he acted happy and grateful and was receptive to what he was being told.  

So imagine my surprise when George called me up and informed me that his current life circumstances were my fault, and that because of it I owed George not only an explanation but also a free consultation for an unspecified amount of time!

My first reaction was confusion as my brain tried to work out exactly HOW I was responsible for his life? As I tried to assist George further, he became irrational and angry. He made some pretty far out accusations and I felt my own temper rising as he simply was not willing to take any responsibility for his own life and the choices he had made.  Every attempt I made at a rational, adult conversation was quite beyond his scope of abilities. He wanted someone to blame and I was it.

After I finished that phone call with George I was left feeling a mix of emotions. I felt angry, frustrated, hurt and confused.  After I had calmed down a bit, I felt something else for George, I felt sadness. Here was a man with so much potential, so much that he could have done with his life, so much that he could still do, and yet he did nothing.  He was akin to an Ostrich sticking its head in a hole! What a waste!

I’ve met a few people like George in my life as I am sure you have dear readers.  What is important to remember when interacting with persons like this, is to determine for yourself at what point do you back away?  Some people will continue to resist all good intentions and efforts no matter what, even when they say they want to change or want help.  It’s up to you to decide at what point you say, enough is enough.  Do not put your own emotional welfare and energy towards people that just want to be an Ostrich!

Never Allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option. ~ Mark Twain

 If it is done with a malicious intent, it is considered Double Speak. If a person speaks this way this because they are lonely, socially awkward, absentminded or on medication for example, it is not considered to be coming from a malicious space and thus is not categorized as Double Speak.

​ Why do some people talk like this?  When a person speaks this way with a malicious intent in mind, it is because they are able to avoid a question  entirely or simply answer a part of it, veiled in language that distracts and goes off topic at every opportunity. This can be done with great success to the point that the person who has asked the question has forgotten all about it, and become entirely caught up in the new topic of conversation!  

How do I know someone is speaking this way? The easiest way to spot a Double Speaker is to listen to them talk to you after having asked them a question. Do they get to the point? Has your question been answered in a timely manner, or are they giving you multiple examples and stories that only seem vaguely related to what you asked? For example: you ask the basic meaning behind a symbol they are wearing expecting a quick answer.  What you get instead, is a 30 minute rambling detailing a personal story of how the symbol relates to them, the universe, and the social and political meanings of it, before they change the topic and ask you something totally unrelated.  At no point has the person actually answered your question! This is a sure sign of a Double Speaker!

Why is it important to be able to spot this type of speaker? This type of person is a master at manipulation. They are able to make people believe that they possess more knowledge than they do. They are able to put themselves in a position of power by doing this. When you are able to spot this speech pattern, it is like a light bulb going off.  In the workplace, this Double Speaker shows a good game face, but behind the scenes they may be late with their work or trying to pass off mistakes onto others. Whether you are in a higher executive position or are a co-worker, being able to spot them allows you to clearly see the person for whom they are. You can quickly see their tricks and avoid them, or in the case of hiring management positions, decide if this person is suited for their current position or a new one.

In your personal life, with your newfound ability to spot this Double Speaker, you can quickly categorize people and decide where they fit for you, whether it is in your dating life or with friends and family.  Double Speakers within friends and family are apt to use Emotional Blackmail to further enhance their abilities. Using language as their weapon of choice, they are able to verbalize a reality in which they are being oppressed and hurt, and at the same time transform details and events as they actually occurred with their Double Speak, convincing people that they are in fact the innocent party and the victim.

No one wants to be a victim of a Double Speaker and people who employ Double Speak have lots of practice being undetected, but if you learn to spot the signs of a Double Speaker, you can save yourself much heartache and pain and increase your clarity of thought.