The Walls We Build
Learn how self hypnosis can free you from your self set limitations.
Read more in this heartfelt post.
When I was a little girl, I used to dream that someone would rescue me from my life. I never thought of myself as a princess. I was certainly never raised like one or taught to act like one, but I still wanted to be saved by someone.
No Knight To Rescue Me
As the years went by, no one came to save me. I waited like I was supposed to, but I saw no brave knights. Where was he? I wondered why I had no flowers, no gentlemanly kisses to my hand, and no offers of courting. In my heart, I knew that I was a good person, I prided myself on not being like the negative people around me. Every day I saw by example those who seemed to enjoy seeing people suffer. I consoled myself that I certainly didn’t get any joy out of anyone’s suffering, so therefore, I was sure to be rescued soon!
While I continued to wait, there was constant negativity directed at me. It made me doubt myself and my actions more and more. I was building bricks for my tower without even realizing it. Soon I had built so many bricks for my tower, that it was almost blocking out all the light around me. I began only paying attention to the darkness. That darkness fed my fears, ignorance of life, false beliefs, and poor self esteem.
One day I had enough. I decided that sitting in a tower was pretty darn boring! I wanted to learn things! I wanted to live my life! I wanted to have my own voice! I looked around my tower and I realized that even though the negative people in my life had helped me build the bricks, it was me who had built my tower. No one had put me in that enclosed space but myself. So I looked around my tower, and I decided that things needed to change, because my prince wasn’t coming, this wasn’t Camelot, and I was no Guinevere!
Bring A Positive Voice
I had no idea where I was going to start or how, so I just started with something I already knew how to do. I know how to talk to myself. It sounds strange but so many people do it. The difference now was that I would only talk to myself with positive messages. Any time I heard myself saying something negative out loud or in my head, I would correct myself, and change the message to a positive one.
I forced myself to get out there and be social. When I met someone new, previously I would have told myself that the person "wasn’t interested in what I had to say". With the “new” me, I forced myself to say: “This will be fun. It’s exciting to meet new people. I wonder what interesting conversations we will have?”
At first it was incredibly hard for me to even think positive thoughts! I struggled to maintain control and not panic when I spoke to new people. Often I would pretend that I was excited to meet someone new, but inside I was shaking with insecurity. Eventually, forcing myself to do it over and over again, I began to realize that it wasn’t an act anymore. I really did enjoy meeting new people and having interesting conversations. Once I could get out of living in my own thoughts all the time, I started to observe body language and mannerisms, and I saw that other people were nervous too! I was not alone after all.
I didn’t know it at the time, but I learned years later what I was doing is a form of Self Hypnosis. Self Hypnosis is something that most people do all day long, but unfortunately, many people give themselves negative messages. Negative self talk only causes a reinforcement of negative patterns in the brain. What does that mean? It means that if all you see, hear and speak is negative, then you will unconsciously look for negative in every situation. You will attract, and feel negative all the time.
With that one action of continued positive self-talk, I had kicked out some the bricks in my tower to let more light in. By doing that, I was able to see that there was hope in my life, so I kept encouraging myself to try new things. I went to social events that I never would have gone to before. I forced myself to talk to people, sometimes people I knew, mostly people I didn’t know. Sometimes that didn’t go very well, because I ended up talking to people who were stuck in their own negative patterns, but I kept trying. The braver I got, the stronger I felt. I volunteered in hospitals so that I would be forced to interact with people. One volunteer position was in a hospital gift store so I could learn new skills without the pressure of worrying about being fired if I messed up!
Let The Light In
Everyone has their own path in life, and only YOU get to decide how you will view it. If you only see the rocks you stumble on, or the animals that try to bite you, you will miss some incredible aspects of your journey along the way. If you hold fear in your heart, and build up your tower so you never move forward, never feel the touch of another; never move on from past negative experiences, you will have deprived yourself of a full life and an amazing journey.
As the years have gone by and my life has gone up and down, with a variety of negatives and positives. Everyone is a work in progress as no one is perfect; no one is without fault. Today my tower has some bricks left. They are pretty strong and resistant to breaking, but that is okay. I am working on them, and loving myself, knowing the light can reach me now.
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