ARE YOU A DOORMAT?
Everyone has a level of compromise that they are comfortable with, but what if you level of compromise leads you to forsake your own beliefs? How do we determine what is considered to be accommodating and what is considered to be giving up too much of ourselves?
In our society assertive personalities are often considered to have the most desirable traits. Assertive persons seem to have little trouble in having their voices heard and leading the charge. What if you are not an assertive person by nature? Can you still have your voice heard? Do you have to sacrifice who you are in order to get ahead? What if you just can’t see yourself in that light? How far are you willing to allow others to determine what direction your life should take?
Introverted people often get a bad reputation, especially in the world of business which tends to be fast paced and not for the meek at heart. Having said that, many introverted people can be successful in business and life in general without sacrificing who they are. They have learned to walk the fine line between being quite but forceful when needed and being overlooked completely, as is the case with a Doormat personality.
A Doormat personality tends to not believe in themselves very much, to the point that they believe their wants and needs don’t matter, so they give in and let the stronger voices rule. I know of one woman who for years thought that she was being a team player in an office setting, taking shifts that others didn’t want and even giving up her own days off to cover for others. She thought of herself last for so long it was easy for her fellow co-workers to undervalue her. Years later she was angry and bitter that no one had ever appreciated her or offered to take her shifts. She had been accommodating to the point of being a doormat. She had allowed herself to be walked on so many times that no one thought anything of doing it to her over and over again.
An accommodating person knows their true value, but doesn’t see the need to fight for every little thing. They will compromise on small matters that are not of great importance to them. They are able to be true team players, working with others, voicing their needs when required and taking charge when needed. They will not allow themselves to be stepped on or used by others. In a work setting for example where there is the option to take others shifts, they may do so but only if it is convenient for them and is based on their desire to, and not from pressure to please others.
Do you find yourself in the uncomfortable position of being a doormat? How does that benefit you? Consider this: something about being so overlooked, so invisible must be comforting to you on some level. If you are tired of being a doormat, your answer to change your life lies in that question.
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