The search for a scapegoat is the easiest of all hunting expeditions. ~ Dwight D. Eisenhower
It’s easier for some people to live in a world of absolutes, where no allowance is made for variances. People are grouped into one category, where they are rarely allowed to be seen in any other way. Sometimes this process has a name, and that name is discrimination.
The dictionary tells us that discrimination is the "unjust or prejudicial treatment of different categories of people or things, especially on the grounds of race, age or sex."
Discrimination against women in the corporate world is often mentioned with the inclusion of an unseen “glass ceiling.” This is an invisible limit put on some women who work in professions in which they are restricted from achieving a higher status in their career due to this "glass ceiling."
In our current society, It is generally agreed upon that discrimination is wrong and should not be tolerated. Yet, we as a society are shifting towards a discrimination that is not only widely accepted, it is used with an alarming frequency with little regard to the impact it causes. This wave of "acceptable" discrimination can be found everywhere. From comedy routines, to commercials and products geared toward this view. What is this discrimination that is allowed to flourish today, and even often encouraged? It is the discrimination against men.
You have heard the slurs that say all men are jerks, players and dogs? How they can’t be trusted, and how they should just be used for their money and not valued as people. I have personally heard countless women say the most offensive things about men and laugh. I have often confronted women in defence of men, and been met with distain and quizzical looks. My standing up for men was seen as not acceptable.
I originally wrote this post in 2013, as a mother to a young male toddler, who was alarmed at the level of male distain that was becoming acceptable in our society. Now it is 2020 and our entire world is in the throes of a pandemic, and still the messages around men have not change in 7 years! Men are still being portrayed on television shows, movies and commercials as incompetent, to the point that women have to "save them" from whatever situation they have failed at. There is still a kitchen knife holder being sold that is in the shape of a man, but only now it is available in a wider variety of colours. Each knife that fits into it impales the male figure. A very well know major online site tried to be politically correct and called it the "humanoid tool carrier", but if you look at the description, it still says "Men are jerks." In 2013 one site called it the “all men are bastards” knife block. Another site in 2020 calls it the "Your Ex." How is that funny? If the tables were reversed and the product was in the shape of a woman being impaled by knives, the public outcry would have have no doubt resulted in the product no longer being manufactured, but since it’s a guy being stabbed, that’s okay. Right??
Look, not all men are devils, and not all women are angels. The gender of a person does not speak for what kind of person they are. Just as skin colour, height, weight or profession does not speak for who a person is. I don’t think enough women even begin to think about how hard it is for men in this world. Men are judged all the time. They are judged on how they look, the amount of money in their bank account, their sexual prowess and for their social skills. In addition, they are never supposed to be shy or intimidated to talk to a woman.
There are so many women that lament that men never ask them out, or that they always have terrible dates. Sometimes they talk about a man that they know who they would like to date, but he has never "asked her out." At social events they can be heard complaining that a man made eye contact, but that was all.
I pose this question to all the women out there who want a man in their lives.Hey ladies! Have you ever asked a man out? Have you ever walked across a crowded room to ask a man if he would like a drink? How about asking a man to dance?
Try to imagine for a second how scary that must be? To find the nerve to put yourself out there knowing that you might get shot down in 2 seconds by a woman who thinks that all men are scum, and how dare you talk to her?! How many men have gone through that humiliating experience and begin to question if it is even worth it to date? Who needs that constant rejection all the time? Who wants to risk putting themselves out there to constantly encounter women who question them from the start? Men are scrutinized for everything from their manhood, intentions, social status, financial status and more!
When I was dating, I did ask men out. I was always perceived by women as strange and I confused many men too! When I went to a club, If I saw a man I thought was cute, I did ask him to dance or offered to buy him a drink. When I went on dates, I never picked the most expensive restaurant and expected a man to pay for me. I always offered to pay for myself, and I meant it! Sometimes the man I was on the date with would insist on paying, and sometimes we would split the bill. When I was dating my husband, we worked out a reciprocal paying system, where he would pay one time, and I the next.
What about the players you ask? What about them? Yes male players exist, but so do female players. If you don’t want to be with a player ladies, then use your common sense, intuition, and stick to your predetermined set of life rules you have created for yourself! Do not waver on what you will and will not accept in your life! If you don’t have any interest in being with a player and you know for a fact that the man you are talking to is a player, then don’t talk to him, or go out on a date with him! Don’t feed into his flattery or games, just walk away. If you are unhappily dating a player, but refuse to break up with him, don’t turn around and say that all men are evil! There are so many nice, decent and good men out there that are overlooked and ignored, because they are "boring."
If all you respond to are men who treat you badly, then YOU are the problem.
To the single men and women out there who want a partner. To find yourself a great partner ask yourself: How does he treat you? How does she treat you? That is the question that needs to be asked. Forget about making generalizations about people. Forget about lumping men into the evil category and women into the angels who are perfect and make no mistakes. Ladies, do not expect a man to be like a medieval knight to save you and cater to your every whim! You are dealing with a PERSON. If you don’t like how a person treats you, then move on. Do not lump all men into a negative category filled with loathing and discrimination.