THIS POST HAS BEEN CONTRIBUTED BY Ellie Jo
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When you have children, they will always be your number one priority above any other person. But when you have split up from their father, it’s easy to become lonely. Grown-up company is important to all adults. Perhaps you’ve begun dating again. And maybe you’ve met someone you really want to spend more time with. When it comes to falling in love and wanting a fresh start at forever, your kids will need to be on board.
If your kids haven’t met your new love, it’s really important to set up a social activity for a meeting. This keeps things casual but also allows you all to spend time together on neutral ground. If you’re worried your kids may not be keen to welcome a new grown-up into the family, taking these small steps can be helpful.
Your new partner will also want to spend some time with the whole family so they can develop a relationship with the kids. Sometimes kids are on their best behavior when strangers are around. Over time, it’s important your partner can experience the good and the bad when it comes to raising a family. Choose lots of different activities at home and outside.
The next step will be for your partner to stay over. The kids may think of it as a sleepover if they’re young. Be prepared for some disruption to bedtime routines as the kids get used to it! Spending this extra quality time together may initiate some conversations about getting married.
When you have close relationships, your kids will discuss this with their other parent. Your ex may be keen to meet the new person that is spending so much time with his children. Try to keep this as casual and relaxed as you can. It won’t be easy for any of you, but it’s important the father of your kids trusts his kids are in good hands.
Lots of open and honest talking is really important for everyone in the family. Children can worry about things that may not seem big problems to you. But if they don’t feel they can talk to you both about it, these worries can become huge. New living arrangements will soon be on the horizon. Talking about how this will feel around the home will help your kids feel secure with the changes. Simple concerns about things like Father’s Day gifts might come up. Think about how you would like to manage these situations.
Planning a wedding can be more fun when your kids are involved. You might have looked at things like Tacori rings together to pick the kind of design you’re looking for. Your children might delight at the idea of having a major part to play in the ceremony. Page Boys and Bridesmaids or Flower Girls are always the cutest kids there!
Changes at home can be so upsetting for kids. But seeing their Mom happy will help them accept what is happening. This is a wonderful opportunity for you all to bring the family together with a new relationship. Spend one-on-one time with each of your children to assure them they are still the most important people in your life. Congratulations on finding new love.