How one woman rediscovered a connection to God she thought she had lost.
I know what you are thinking! Here we go again, another person who is going to tell me that they are spiritual. That would have been me 3 years ago. I was brought up a Catholic but honestly was not a practicing one. I would pray at night. Church was not a place I enjoyed as it was in Arabic and didn’t really understand or enjoy the service. I knew there was a God out there and he was protecting us and that if I lived a good life and treated people well then all would be good.
Then I moved to Canada and my life completely changed. Everything I knew as my life fell apart. My old life, my stability, my friends, my marriage was all taken from me and I had a breakdown. I fell into a depression and did not know how to get out of it.
I still had to get up every morning to look after my kids and continue with my life but inside I was so empty, scared and didn’t know what to do. Even when I was at that place I kept moving forward trying to find resources, making friends and anything that would help me.
One day I decided I am going to talk to God to pray. Maybe he can help me. I have nowhere else to turn to. So I started talking and asking God why is this happening to me. Please please show me what I have to do next. Please guide me. Every time I prayed a resource or a person would turn up in my life to help me. So I kept doing that. I started wanting to learn more and started watching “Super Soul Sunday”, reading “The Secret” following people like Gabrielle Bernstein. Doing course at the Women’s center. I was hungry to know more.
I started to discover a new way of understanding how the universe works. I started to change my life and my mindset and started to see my life as a journey and continued to see that light at the end of the tunnel. I started to envision what I wanted out of my life. Even in the hard times I kept seeing it and kept telling myself I was going to get there.
Then came time to put my kids in Catechism and I looked around and ended up putting my kids in a Canadian church. Loved the atmosphere and I started going to the mass only because we had to sign in that we attended with our kids. What happened is I discovered a fun way to enjoy church. The priest was so cool and I started to understand what he was saying. The singing was great and I found an amazing community and I could share the fun with my kids.
One day I decided I was going to speak to the priest and ask if we can create a support group for the single moms who are struggling. I sent an email to Father Francis and I remember him answering me and saying come and see me and we will discuss it.
The night before going to the meeting I was watching Super soul Sunday on Facebook and my favorite author Elizabeth Gilbert was explaining Spirituality and she said: “After my divorce I had a hole in my heart and I did everything to fill it but nothing would fill it until I found spirituality.” I sat there for a while and I thought oh my God that is me. I am doing everything yet I still feel so empty.
The next day I am knocking at Father Francis’ door and I am thinking I am not here to help others. I need to help myself. I need to feel that connection. While I was there Father Francis listened to me and said: “Monica this may be your calling but for now it is about healing you.” He sat with me and listened to what I had learnt and said if you want you can come and see me and I can guide you. That was the best thing to happen to me.
He said something to me that day that changed my life. He said:
“Monica those voices you hear that tell you that you are not good enough, they are not God.
God is the one inside you who is your biggest cheerleader and he is the one who is there for you always. He created you exactly the way you are so that you can do what you are meant to do in this lifetime.”
I came out of there and that sentence changed my life. I understood that I didn’t need anybody to make me happy. I was complete. I have a cheerleader inside me that is constantly cheering me on and I have a best friend who I can talk to all the time. I just needed to be still in order to hear him.
So spirituality is not religion. I just happen to be a Christian but I am spiritual because I have a connection with God. Religion is one of the rituals that people use to get to God.
HOW TO START
So fast forward 3 years and I am a Spirituality coach. Me! Yes me! What I do is guide you to connect to that source. I help you understand why the doors in your life that have closed have closed and don’t serve you anymore. When you get that connection you feel whole and you make decisions from your soul level.
Monica Karam is a Spiritual Coach. She offers a 30 minute "Discovery Session" for free. Sessions start at $90 per hour and packages are available. Spiritual Coaching is offered in person, telephone or by Skype. She can be reached at monicakaram.com