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One Sided Spirituality

1/8/2013

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When your partner does not care to find their inner bliss, what should you do? Keep reading to learn more. 
mountain path
Sometimes Your Paths Will Be Separate
In general, It is often easier to explore your spirituality when you are single.  When a person is single their time is their own. It seldom matters how much of your free time is taken for meditation, yoga classes, or retreats. Single people also have the freedom to decorate in any style they desire, and that includes objects which speak to their spiritual soul,  like a Buddha figure or gemstones.  

The single life is wonderful for many people. There is nothing wrong with being single and loving it, if that is the direction you have chosen for your life. For those who are not single though, negotiating time and energy for spiritual discovery can be a difficult thing, especially when your partner has no interest in finding or changing their own spiritual path.

What should you do? Do you force your partner to learn with you? Do you give them gifts of books on what you are studying?  

Respect 

It is very important that you do not try to force your personal views and beliefs onto you partner. Do not berate them for their choices, or act superior because you have decided to explore a new avenue of belief and learning. Do not add spiritual objects to your home with a total disregard of your partners personal space. Your partner is on their own path, just as you are, and both of you have to focus on your own individual journeys.

For most couples, this will be a difficult time. The transition in thinking, the emotions, and the excitement of learning can be overwhelming for the partner who is, for lack of a better term “left behind.”

Find Balance 

The method for dealing with this period, is to work on finding balance. For the person who is exploring their spiritual path and the person who is not. If you learn something new that you want to share with your partner, do it lovingly and gently without forcing your beliefs onto them.

Don't Do This

You have just taken a class on Chakras. You are excited and want to share all that you have learned with your partner. In your excitement you buy a collection of gemstones which relate to the Chakras.  You insist on giving your partner “their” stone. This is a gemstone that you have picked  for them. You are certain it is theirs because you are convinced a certain Chakra point in them needs to be "fixed." You then thrust this stone into their  hand, and insist that they have this “problem”. Without giving them a chance to speak you then describe in detail to them all of their “issues”. You then order them to carry the gemstone with them at all times.  

Do This Instead

You have just taken a class on Chakras. You are excited and want to share all that you have learned with your partner. In your excitement you buy a collection of gemstones which relate to the Chakras. You really want to share what you have learned with your partner, but you recognize that they may not be receptive to what you have just learned. You love your partner very much and although you want to share your new knowledge right away, you decide to find a beautiful bowl to display your new gemstones in instead. By doing this, you know that your partner will see them at some point. You also know that if they are interested, they will ask you about them. If that happens, you will briefly explain what they are for, and will only elaborate IF and WHEN they ask. You also decide to leave your books from the class on your coffee table, so that you or anyone else can read them too. You know that just like water flowing down a river, it is best to let people find their own way, at their own pace.

Feeling Left Out

What about the partner on the receiving end of all this spiritual enlightenment? They may feel that they have a partner they do not recognize.  They may begin to feel left out, alone or no longer compatible. One thing a partner can do is to try and offer support during this time of exploration. They should not make light of their partners choices. Work together to create a space that works for both of you through communication and compromise.

Two people who are committed to each other can be on different paths, and sometimes those paths can overlap. Experience different views, share new discoveries with each other at a leisurely pace, and continue to be there for your partners as you journey together.
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